fe marie

Dec. 1st. 2008. Monday.

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 01:09:44 GMT

   So I am having alot of those feelings called m i x e d. I thought I liked Jimmy but now I am seeing him more and more as just a friend, as for the other people I thought I liked. I thought I was attracted to Charlei just a little bit, but I am def. not. I thought I really liked Cody. Ha, but I don't, I wih I did though he is so cute and amazing. But, I could never see me and Cody togther its like water and oil. I don't think I would want to date someone from Girard also.
   Besides my non-existent love life ha. My school work is doing pretty good. I am actually gonna graduate wow, nothing could ever prepare me for this. I am so worried about what I am going to become after I graduate. Everyone is telling me not to go into culinary arts that it is not a high paying job. But all the jobs I happen to be interested in are low paying jobs. I also wanted to be a soical worker or a guidence consuler. Mmm, I don't know if I should re-think my carrer or not. I want to make money but I also want to like my job. A job is not worth doing if you have no passion about it.
   Moving on to situtions taking place with my friends. Well, Kelly is no longer my friend because of April and Justine talking crap about me. Kelly said I was never a friend to her. It did not hurt my feelings because I know I was a friend to her a good one. Its her mistake not mine I suppose. Uh, I feel bad for Katie she really like Mr. Cody Taylor. Well, thats life, thats happens a lot someone falls for someone who does not fall back for them. She will find someone somday she just has to be patient. Jessica I haven't talked to in a while or seen for that matter. I was so upset she did not come to my birthday party. But, she is my best frind and I am no longer mad. Oh, sweet mother of pearl I want to choke Steve's girlfriend just a little bit. She is so annoying. She actually says words like "wonderfully wonderfull", "Oh gee" , and she goes on and on about how she is oh so inlove with Stephen. Thats great in all but I do not want to her about it a l l the time. Oh, and she
a l w a y s talks about her family and how they love Stephen. She gives me 30,000 questions a day on why am I friends with her boyfriend. Like wow. It drives me a-wall. Haha, and well lets see who else do I want to talk about. Jacqueline, I love her to death, she is the most understanding friend I have but lately she doesn't seem to listen to me when I need her too and it seems that she is not wanting to hang out with me anymore.
   Lets move on to family, man me and my mom seems to be driving eachother nuts. I miss my grandma is all I have to say on this. Well I am going to do my homewrok now so laters.

Why do I look the way I do

Sat, 10 May 2008 18:26:51 GMT

I am tired of being so fat, I need to freakin' excerise. Maybe if I wasn't so ugly and fat, I would have a date to prom, or have a boyfriend or have some fun. I hate the way I look and I am always to tired to anything about it cause I am fat and I get tired a-lot. It sucks to be fat and sick, which now it seems like thats all I ever am anymore fat and sick. I am tired of itt.

March 2nd 2008

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:08:06 GMT

Another day has passed away. I have just sat in front of the T.V. with my mom all day. Pretty much, she�s been nodding off a lot. I feel bad no one has really come to see since her surgery. People called but, its not the same. =/ Well she�s got me =)

I wish it was nice whether outside. I want to ride my bike, and hang out at the parks with my friends. This winter has seem to have been here forever. =( HaHa.

Oh, Guess what my best friend Stephen got accepted into Diana School of music. How kick-ass is that. He only played three audition pieces and he was going to play the fourth but they said he didn�t have too. He was accepted. They could only take one tuba player and they took him. How freaking amazing is that. That is pretty darn amazing. =)

I go to school tomorrow, I haven�t been in school since Monday. Tuesday we had a school day. Thursday, Wes-day, I was sick. Friday I still sick but had to accompany my to her surgery. Which went well. Hahahahaha =) I am so very happy it went well. It was so boring at the hospital with my Aunt and Grandma. I knocked over lamp and wheeled my grandma into peoples feet cause she was in a wheel chair. I became pro-ness at the wheel chair thing. I stole it from my grandma and played with it. I was indeed bored. =)

I am still in constant thought of Jeremy. I love that guy so very much. Everything reminds me of him. Roar-ness. =( I am so upset about that whole fling thing we had. I wanted so much out that relationship. I wanted to be with him for a long time. I saw us being together for a long time. I guess I saw wrong. Ugh later. =)

So much Catch up so little Time....

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 04:24:30 GMT

Well since the time I wrote in this blog, I have dated Jeremy, I have lost my virginity with Jeremy, I got called out by April, I am dateless for prom, I went to homecoming, and so much more.

Your probably like whoa, tell me about the Jeremy thing, what all did I do. Well...ha. I had sex with him I do regret it cause indeed I do love him. I just wish he felt the same, and I would have realized he didn't before we had sex. Every one was like Tina he just wants to get in your pants. I said nooo, he does not he loves me he told me so. Ha. What a crock that was if he did love me he wouldn't be treating me like he is now. I wanted to be with him forever. I loved him so much, why you ask. Because I was myself with him and he loved me just the same. He wrote me notes saying I was beauitful he looked in my eyes and told me he loved me. He made me feel so safe, I could not stop smiling the day he met my mom. I was so happy. I never smiled so much in one day. He touch was gentle and his kisses were passionate. Me and him just seem to make sense together. I would have did anything for him.

He can not possbliy know this right? Or he would still be with me right? Or he just does not love me as much as he does April which is understandable, they had a 4 year relationship. I just am really hurt I feel like all the air has left my body and that I will never get back on track again. Write more I gtg.

me and that silly guy I like

Sat, 19 May 2007 02:09:25 GMT

Jerbearkid006 (7:31:00 PM): I'm online
Green Daz01 (7:31:28 PM): o.O I see
Green Daz01 (7:31:44 PM): hi there
Jerbearkid006 (7:31:29 PM): Whats up with you sexier
Green Daz01 (7:32:03 PM): hahahahaha =) nm u?
Jerbearkid006 (7:31:52 PM): chillin
Jerbearkid006 (7:31:56 PM): brb drink
Green Daz01 (7:32:17 PM): k
Jerbearkid006 (7:37:24 PM): whats up?
Green Daz01 (7:37:50 PM): nm
Jerbearkid006 (7:37:56 PM): You know you are cute as hell.
Green Daz01 (7:38:26 PM): hahaha only not at all
Jerbearkid006 (7:38:18 PM): your crazy
Green Daz01 (7:38:51 PM): Now that is true lol
Green Daz01 (7:39:36 PM): so whats new
Jerbearkid006 (7:39:26 PM): not much
ATTENTION (7:39:48 PM): Direct IM session initiated. What is this?
Green Daz01 (7:40:31 PM): nicee
Jerbearkid006 (7:40:33 PM): lol
Green Daz01 (7:41:50 PM): lmao dork =)
Jerbearkid006 (7:42:16 PM): no your not
Green Daz01 (7:42:45 PM): .................
Green Daz01 (7:44:43 PM): Geeze u talk a lot
Green Daz01 (7:44:48 PM): godd
Jerbearkid006 (7:44:44 PM): what would you do if i spanked your ass?
Green Daz01 (7:45:18 PM): omg ha that was the randomest shit ever Jerbearkid006 (7:45:07 PM): ok
Green Daz01 (7:45:51 PM): omg that was funny you just randomly said out of no where u crack me up mr.
ATTENTION (7:47:07 PM): Direct IM session disconnected.
Jerbearkid006 (7:46:50 PM): ok
ATTENTION (7:47:29 PM): Direct IM session initiated. What is this?
Green Daz01 (7:48:04 PM): ha
Green Daz01 (7:48:06 PM): funny
Jerbearkid006 (7:47:53 PM): i know
Green Daz01 (7:48:20 PM): haha dork face
Green Daz01 (7:48:32 PM): =) meant in the nicest way of course
Jerbearkid006 (7:48:42 PM): ok
Green Daz01 (7:49:39 PM): ok I see
Jerbearkid006 (7:49:34 PM): no you do not
Green Daz01 (7:50:13 PM): I do to How would you know if I didn't o.O burnn
Jerbearkid006 (7:50:35 PM): OMG A GAY!
Green Daz01 (7:51:43 PM): Errrrrr
Green Daz01 (7:51:48 PM): Where>?
Green Daz01 (7:51:52 PM): I don't see it
Green Daz01 (7:52:01 PM): where is it Wheres that damn gay
Jerbearkid006 (7:52:46 PM): lol ok
Green Daz01 (7:53:11 PM): umm
Green Daz01 (7:53:17 PM): I see
Jerbearkid006 (7:57:37 PM): do you
Green Daz01 (7:58:32 PM): Hey I do =) you better believe it Mr. =) hey I am going to bed way tired later Mr. funny man =0

I am tthe biggest fool I know

Sat, 19 May 2007 02:07:54 GMT

I like my frinends boyfriend a whole lot. =(
And he talks to me all the time, And ugh.
I hate everything.

When he said this I auotmaticly thought he left to jack off to my picture or some thing

Sat, 05 May 2007 18:32:25 GMT

Jerbearkid006 (10:29:52 AM): im not a play boy faggot i love serx but i got my hands and if i want i can look at chick pics and think about it

Green Daz01 (10:31:18 AM): o.O nice

Jerbearkid006 (10:31:03 AM): brb

Lets talk about sex baby....ew but not with you

Sat, 05 May 2007 18:27:47 GMT

Green Daz01 (10:09:45 AM): =) didn't notice you were on so hey how you?

Jerbearkid006 (10:09:19 AM): ok

Green Daz01 (10:10:09 AM): thats good

Green Daz01 (10:10:40 AM): hows my girl april

Jerbearkid006 (10:10:18 AM): seems good

Green Daz01 (10:11:07 AM): sweet

Green Daz01 (10:11:10 AM): =)

Jerbearkid006 (10:12:24 AM): Whats up with you?

Green Daz01 (10:15:06 AM): o.O

Green Daz01 (10:15:10 AM): nothing much

Green Daz01 (10:15:28 AM): I babysat last night and gonna do again tonight =)

Jerbearkid006 (10:14:59 AM): sounds fun

Green Daz01 (10:16:01 AM): it is for me I love kids =)

Jerbearkid006 (10:15:43 AM): Wait untill you have one then we will see

Green Daz01 (10:17:55 AM): ha. I won't have kids for a long time. but when I do have I will be ready for them. =) I babysit all the time and I spend the night when I babysit sometimes I love it. I love little people they are too cute

Green Daz01 (10:18:18 AM): I can't wait to teach my kids funny stupid things

Jerbearkid006 (10:17:51 AM): I see

Green Daz01 (10:18:34 AM): yup

Green Daz01 (10:19:02 AM): do you like kids?

Jerbearkid006 (10:18:41 AM): can i get you pregenant?

Green Daz01 (10:19:27 AM): hahahahaha

Green Daz01 (10:19:32 AM): lol

Green Daz01 (10:19:34 AM): lmao

Green Daz01 (10:19:51 AM): ooo wow that was funny

Jerbearkid006 (10:19:37 AM): lol im just fucking with you anyway

Green Daz01 (10:20:28 AM): hahahaha yea I know

Jerbearkid006 (10:19:54 AM): i dont want kids anytime soon

Jerbearkid006 (10:20:02 AM): I do but I dont

Green Daz01 (10:21:02 AM): I don't want kids until I am 28

Jerbearkid006 (10:21:09 AM): I dont have the money for then amd Im not some dumb nigga that cant keep a condopm in his pockey although I would rather use birth control

Green Daz01 (10:23:04 AM): hahahahaha

Jerbearkid006 (10:22:33 AM): although im not going to lie I do it alot with out condoms but I pull it out as quick as i can

Green Daz01 (10:24:19 AM): That doesn't matter how long its in there does it

Green Daz01 (10:24:45 AM): it could be in their for like a min. aand you could still get a baby

Jerbearkid006 (10:25:03 AM): i know but there is also the fact that i have problems with that because i got a low sperm count

Green Daz01 (10:26:06 AM): o.O so can you have babies

Jerbearkid006 (10:26:14 AM): yes but it would take meds and sit to make it more easy for me.

Green Daz01 (10:27:08 AM): that sucks a lot

Jerbearkid006 (10:26:30 AM): shit*

Green Daz01 (10:27:12 AM): for you

Jerbearkid006 (10:27:50 AM): not for me i have a good chance i can if i do it right but i like it like that because then i can have sex with out more ov a chance of that with out a condom.

Green Daz01 (10:28:49 AM): oh

Jerbearkid006 (10:28:46 AM): i hate condoms but i do some times depends if i know or do not know the person and if im single or not.

being single

Fri, 04 May 2007 04:27:35 GMT

Every one is like Tina don't you hate being single Ha no.

Pro's

-You get to freely flirt
-You have more time on your hands to hang with friends
-no extra added drama
-no worrying about what you bf-gf is doing
-You can have friends with benefits

Con's

-You have no one to send mushy comments too
-You have no one to hold you and say I love you
-You have to look at other couples
-other people try to hook you up with other people

I dunno I want a boyfriend but at the same time its like why bother having one.
cause I would just want to be with somone else and I would reuin it like I did with Tony.
I guess I make a terrible girlfriend. Ha. Maybe thats why no one will date me. Wow I suck at life.

He makes me angry ..

Fri, 04 May 2007 03:24:33 GMT

Its like he doesn't even care at all.
He tells me I am he's best friend, but sometimes I don't even feel like were
friends. I don't think he cares that he seriously hurts my feel bad
all the time.
I hate that he is dating brittany seriously, Its all ready started
I already heard from several people she is just dating him to dat him.
I hate her, and I am so angry with him and people.