Dude CONFLICTED is the word. I feel conflicted with everything.
Posted at 12:02 am by
efablover
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My pep talk to myself because no one else will give me one.
I need to accept the choices I have made, and what is going on around me. "Clarence" does not like you more than a friend deal with it. Even you did date it would not work out. Your Uncle is a huge pain in the ass but, he loves you and your mom is just crazy accept that. You are going to be just like her when you grow up. Just you need to try to make better decisions is all. You need to figure out where you want to go in life and than decide what you need to do to get you there than do it. Do not worry if you're not sure what you want out of life it will come to you just be patient. You need to also have patience with your love life. "Good things come to those who wait." You are a good friend you try your hardest to do what you can for people. Now you just have to focus a little more on yourself. Don't worry what people think about you that gets you no where. As for your weight, you are the only one that can change that number. Change it for your self and no one else. Just think about how you can strut around all the guys that would not give you the time of the day and all the amazing clothes you would be able to wear. Also grandma would be proud of you. So hey this is your reality check now cash it girl [:
Posted at 03:35 pm by
efablover
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I hope I am not a jerk I do not try to be one. I think I come off as a bitch sometimes but when I am mad I take it out on everyone I think can handle it. I should not do that, for several it is not fair and the people I thought could handle I guess can't. I do not know what to do anymore I am at the end of my rope. Life just does not seem to be going my way.
Posted at 12:58 am by
efablover
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heart broken
I just felt my heart stop for like a whole five seconds. "Clarence" is talking to a girl that he really likes and he is going to ask her out. Man, I wanna just leave I wanna get away from this town and all these people.
life sucks............
Posted at 09:58 pm by
efablover
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I wanna punch him in his puggy face [:
I hate my Uncle right now, he is the biggest ass-burger I know. He calls me self centered but that man is the most self centered son of a bitch I have ever seen. I just wanna punch him is his face like all the time. He has a huge ego problem that he needs to get fixed right away. "J:HBNDPUISHVD" I am so pissed at him right....now.
Posted at 02:43 pm by
efablover
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Saturday, June 13, 2009
I can not wait until I get my license because I am never going to be home. I can not stand being home all the time it is driving me freaking nuts. My mom is always up my ass and my uncle is just plain out annoying. I also can not wait until I get myself a job so I will not have to ask for money anymore. It sucks to have to ask people for money. I can not wait till my graduation party is over and done with maybe my mom will calm her ass down. My family is fucking NUTS.
Posted at 10:49 am by
efablover
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"I wanna choke some family members" -me [:
Posted at 10:03 am by
efablover
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Friday, June 12, 2009
I AM IN-LOVE
"Clarence" !!
damn, my life sucks poopie [:
I am gonna go CrAZy [:
Posted at 11:37 pm by
efablover
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I feel happy after I am with him [:
Emily, Cody and I all went to the movies today to see Hangover. It was a freaking funny movie and kind of disgusting. After the movies I could not stop smiling I was so happy to see "Clarence" and he looked and smelled amazing. This kid makes me so happy I really really wished he liked me too. But, I do not think I am his type of girl I think I am to loud and my level of intelligence is to low. I am just happy to have him around [:
Posted at 08:27 pm by
efablover
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Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Why do mixed feelings have to so MIXED?
I am pretty sure that I am madly in love with "Clarence". But, Katie says she is too. She talks about him all the time and try's so hard to get him to like her. I have talked to "Clarence" about this him and Katie thing and he only see's her as a friend. Katie is like 100% sure that she can change his mind. I am almost 100% sure he does not know I like him and I want it to stay that way. I mean me and him have gotten so close this year as friends. I would never want to mess that up. Although Katie has asked "Clarence" before and he said no but they still are friends and it's like it never happened. But, man if I ever asked him out and he said no I would not want to be around him at all I would be so embarrassed. I need to vent about "Clarence" I mean I just love that kid so much. Why do I love him ha, why not. The kid is AMAZING here's WHY: lol
LOOKS
1.) He is so attractive: he has eyes that could kill (every time I look him in the eyes I just want to be like I LOVE YOU)
2.) He has wonderful hair I mean I do not play with it like everyone else because I am way to shy to do that with him and I am not sure he would like me doing that to him.
3. The kid has a nice ass, I mean when we worked at the Multi-generational Center I was always checking out that kid's ass.
4. He dresses so nice and he presents him self so well. He does not slouch.
5.) He has just an innocent look to his face. Like you just always want to kiss his face and tell him you love him.
PERSONALITY
1.) "Clarence" is smart, kind, caring, well-mannered, and he has common sense. He could get along with anyone pretty much, he is a true gentleman. He also just always knows what to say and do to make you feel better, half the time I don't think he even realizes it.
There were times at the Center that I felt like my world just crashed and burned because I had a hard day at school. But, when we arrived at the Center I would forget about everything else and we just had a great time together. I did not care what kind of job Jude gave us just as long as I did it with him. He can always make me laugh and make my day brighter.
2.) I love it when he says my name and looks at me with his big pretty eyes.
When I am with "Clarence" I am really happy and at first I was just like man it's just a friend thing with me and him. But, I got to thinking I can and never want to be apart from him and I can not imagine a life with out him in it. I wish me and him could be more than friends but I NEVER would want him to know that. I have been rejected so many times by people. But, man I love him so MUCH I do think I would be able to stand it if he says no. Blah, this is all I am writing for now. LATER
Posted at 09:51 pm by
efablover
