Since July 1st of last year I have changed dramatically, I have gained weight, became depressed. The only thing that changed that was good is after that day I decided to actually buckled down at school so I could actually graduate for my grandma and myself. Before my grandma passed away I had just dropped 65 pounds. Now that's something, but when she passed away I stopped caring and I gained it all back and than some. I was in a size 18 now I am in a size 20 to a 22. That is terrible, I am disgusted with myself. I hate looking at myself in the mirror and I hate it when I eat. I want to loose weight, but I think I let it get to bad. It's so hard to just go on with your life when some one you cared about so much is no longer with you. My grandma was a huge part of my life, she was the glue that kept my family together, She was the only one who could ever calm down my mom when she got in a fight with me or Dave. I miss her so much. I can believe I graduated with out her and doing all these things with out her. Now I just do not have a family member to lean on like I did with my grandma. My mom is way to indifferent and my Uncle just likes to hear himself talk and no one else. My CRAZY insane is just as bad as Dave. My brother Joey never has free time. I need someone to just talk to about all this family shit and all this other crap.
To top it off I really don't think I have any true friends anymore except maybe Cody. But sometimes I am not even sure about I think he just talks to because he feels obligated too.I don't Jessica has not talked to me until like June 6th. I am so pissed about that I have no idea why she is being so freaking mean.
My graduation party is this Saturday and I am kind of worried about it. I am not sure how many people are even going to show up and my mom is spazing out over a whole lot of nothing-ness. I am just so tired and fade up.
-L8er
Posted at 11:43 pm by
efablover
